How to Not Let Emotional Pain Keep You From Your Purpose

Brown board with the word emotions

Emotional pain creates blind spots that control our thoughts and emotions, which in turn, control our lives. When we don’t take the time to heal from the traumas that we’ve experienced, we become emotionally stunted in painful experiences. This blocks us from moving forward with our lives in a healthy way. So, today, I want to talk about how to not let emotional pain keep you from your purpose.

The truth is that purpose is often birthed out of painful experiences. But when we do not heal or learn the necessary lessons from the painful experiences, we can’t help others heal because we can’t move forward. This also means that we can’t help others birth their purposes because we can’t share our stories and how we overcame the pain. While we talk about emotional healing in this post, be sure to check out our post on holistic healing as well.

This is how emotional pain keeps us from purpose.

3 Reasons to heal emotional pain


Firstly, most of us think the same thoughts. Yes, we are always thinking, but have you ever stopped to pay attention to the things you think and to the way they make you feel? Our thoughts and emotions are skewered to negativity and we spend countless hours criticizing, judging, hurting, and wounding ourselves with our own thoughts.

Oftentimes, we also relive the judgements that others have pronounced on us, telling us that we are no good, that we’re unworthy and unlovable. These thoughts and feelings do not just die away, we carry them with us daily. That is, until we decide to seek help to stop them and to formulate new and healthy thoughts.


Secondly, we can’t create and experience healthy relationships until we ourselves are healthy. And we can’t be healthy until we deal with the traumas we have experienced. You may feel like I have put aside those old painful memories, or that they do not bother you currently, but make no mistake, these feelings and experiences do not just leave us. These past painful experiences continue to control you, whether consciously or unconsciously until they are dealt with.


Third, and final, if you can’t overcome and heal from emotional pain, it’s going to be difficult to walk in purpose. Building a purposeful and impactful life is not for the faint of heart. It’s one of those clichéd saying, “If it were easy, everyone would do it,” and that’s really the truth. Because if it was easy to walk in purpose and faith, people would be building adventurous and faith-filled lives rather than settling for the bare minimum that life has to offer.

Building a purposeful life takes intentionality, innovation, sacrifice, discipline, growth, adaptability, and responsibility, none of which is practiced when we are stunted in emotional pain. Emotional pain keeps you emotionally stuck at the age you were when you experienced the trauma, and as such you don’t learn the necessary skills needed to overcome and heal from the trauma without seeking support and help. You must decide if you want your future to be controlled by your past or if you’re brave enough to fight for the future you so desire.

Steps to healing emotional pain

I would be remiss to end this post without offering a few steps to help you heal your emotional pain. I wholeheartedly believe that God has a specific plan and purpose for every single child that He creates. Don’t let emotional pain keep you from this purpose. Here are 4 steps to help you heal your emotional pain so that it doesn’t keep you from your purpose:

  1. Seek support from a professional. Only you know what experiences you’ve been through. So, I encourage you to seek a therapist, a psychologist, a coach, someone trained. They will be able to help you change your mindset, thoughts, and behaviors. This will help you get clear on your purpose.
  2. Begin journaling. This practice is so often overlooked. People always say that they don’t have the time or that they aren’t good journal-ers. There isn’t any right way or wrong way to do it. You can use an app or pen and paper. Even if it’s 2-5 minutes a day just to clarify what you’re grateful for, or to set an intention for each day, or to identify 1 thing you did well, and 1 thing you will work at, it doesn’t matter the format because they all count. The point of journaling is to gain clarity and awareness of your thoughts and build discipline.
  3. Adjust your attitude – healing is not linear nor is it a one-time cycle. Healing is continuous, cyclical, and seasonal. Sometimes, new experiences will trigger old wounds. But, they will bring a different level of awareness and insight to help you heal those old wounds. So, be open to new experiences, pivots, and changes. No change is bad. It’s really just your experience and the meaning you attach that makes you think changes are bad. I encourage you to open your heart.
  4. Recognize that no one has all the answers. And that’s okay. We don’t have to have all the answers to move forward. That’s why faith is inherent in life. It takes faith to believe that we’ll live to see another day; faith to believe that we’ll find the right partner, to believe that we’ll live to see our children grow. You can apply faith to wherever you need it in your life so that you can move forward.

Final Words

As a spiritual mindset coach who focuses on holistic healing, I understand that healing starts in the mind. Our mind is more powerful than most of us understand, and we often do not understand how it works. God consistently talks about managing our mind in the Bible because He knows that mind has the power to play tricks on us and to lead us astray.

To experience holistic healing, we must learn to control and overcome our minds. Our mind is a part of our soul, all the things that make us uniquely us. But sometimes, we let our minds exacerbate our fears and past traumas. This only holds us back from healing and purpose. God wants to, not only heal us, but make us whole. He wants to integrate our minds, bodies, and spirits in connection to Him.

If this sounds like something you need help with, I would be so humbled to work with you on this journey. Please connect with me by scheduling a call with me today.

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Photocred: Alexas Fotos/Unsplash

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